what is that sick pellet I just coughed up?

Have you ever just been sitting there, doing your homework, when you feel something lingering in your throat?

You force out a cough, and a big white chunk of something comes flying out the back of your throat and to the front of your mouth, along with the worst taste possibly known to man.

So, naturally, you spit out whatever is lingering on your tongue into your hand, and this is what you see (p.s. if the pimple pictures grossed you out, stop reading this blog right now):

[This is definitely the most extreme/largest one I have ever seen (who would take a picture of the dinky ones?)]

It’s whitish-yellow and circular. It has like the consistency of something like the cross between a pea and a nut (it feels a little hard but you can squish it with you fingernails). And, naturally, when you smell it, it literally reeks of bad breath and vomit.

What is that? You ask yourself. And why am I so weird?

Answer: You aren’t weird. And these “pellets” are actually coughed up by all of the rest of us daily. In fact, these “pellets” are actually called tonsiliths.

These tonsiliths, also known as tonsil stones, are actually combination of food particles, bacteria, and body secretions that form on your tonsils and break off as small, hard nuggets.

Sounds totally disgusting, and is obviously weird. But, it’s totally normal.

All of us that still have our tonsils supposedly get them every couple of days, according to my doctor, and they really are harmless.

However, tonsiliths are the number one cause of bad breath. Therefore here are a few ways to get rid of your tonsiliths:

• gargle daily with salt water
• try to brush your tonsils each day while brushing your teeth
• if you feel a tonsilith in the back of your throat, push a Q-tip on your tonsil to try to pop it out of place
• have a doctor remove your tonsils for you

Or, if you’re like me, you’ll continue to cough up tonsiliths from time to time. Not only does it add a little excitement to your life, but sometimes it’s fun to spit them out on your finger and compare them with others’ tonsiliths.

Warning, however: If you feel a tonsilith in your throat, SPIT IT OUT! Do not trust that it’s a small piece of that sandwich you ate for lunch coming back up to say hello.

Nothing’s worse than accidently biting into one of those nasty hooligans. Not only do those little buggers smell terrible, but they taste terrible, too. Take it from someone who has coughed up her fair share of mono-infested tonsiliths. It’s not fun.

That’s all for today.

See you guys later,

wEirDo

now this is weird, people.

This week’s topic will be something a little different…

We’ll discuss weird bodily functions that you think only happen to you, but in fact, they happen to everyone else too. And these weird things actually have medical names.

Until then, get in touch with some actual weird medical conditions people face around the world.

Exhibit A:

This girl cries blood.

And.. Exhibit B:

This unnamed baby from Nepal was born with a severe case of anencephaly ( a genetic birth defect) that causes it to have physical characteristics similar to that of a frog. Therefore it has been given the nickname “frog-like baby” by many (not me).

[NOTE: I am in no way making fun of these individuals or trying to be offensive. They both simply have severe medical conditions that are rare and quite weird. Hence, why their pictures are posted on this blogpost.]

I think that’s enough for today.

See you Friday.

wEirDo

you people disgust me…

Our future showers/bathtubs?

Hmm…

Just wanted to confirm for all those out there that think I am the most disgusting person in the WORLD: I did not choose this week’s topic.

YOU  PEOPLE DID.

So now that we have that taken care of, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite subject: peeing in the shower.

Don’t say anything. Because I guarantee that you have peed in the shower at least once in your life, or at least once this week.

What do I have to say about it? I say, Why not?

Even though it’s totally gross, disgusting, and most of all, WEIRD, when you think about it, peeing in the shower is totally practical. Here’s why:

• Unless you have a bladder infection or something, your urine is completely sterile and harmless.
• Toilet flushing accounts for almost 27 percent of indoor water use in a home. And the amount used per flush ranges from a gallon to a whopping seven gallons. Peeing in the shower totally cuts down on this, therefore it’s saving water.
• You’re already wet, so why does it matter? Also, you’re about to clean your whole entire body anyway. So just get over it and let go…

After that, I know you are convinced to try this at home.

But peeing in the shower isn’t easy. There are definitely some rules you need to follow in order to be a shameless shower squirter:

1. Don’t start until after the water has. The water not only conceals the noise for others in the house to hear, but also avoids direct contact between your urine and the shower floor.  The idea is that your urine will be quickly whisked away down the drain, avoiding personal hygiene issues, and not to mention convincing you that you did not just pee in the shower.
2. In addition, it forces you to take care of business before you start cleaning yourself. Therefore, you have the opportunity for a full-rinse-cycle afterward.
3. DO NOT DO IT IN A FRIEND’S SHOWER. Nothing ruins a friendship more than inappropriate urination. Plus, it’s just rude. Save friend fights for something better.
4. And finally, do not get carried away. Don’t wash your hands in the toilet, and do not poop in the bathtub.

If we all just embrace peeing in the shower, the world would be a better place. And I know the Brazilians are thinking the same thing as me.

Exhibit A:

Brazilian environmentalist groups are hard at work trying to convince the population to conserve water by relieving themselves while bathing.

They even show this commercial during children’s television programs, showing trapeze artists, basketball players, and—hey, even aliens!—urinating in the shower, in order to convince kids that it’s okay to just let it all go while in the shower. See for yourself:

For those of you who don’t speak Porteugeuse, and didn’t catch that, the ad ends with: “Pee in the shower!” Save the Atlantic rainforest!”

Cute, huh?

Okay, I know;  maybe this vid is a little excessive, but it does make a point:  Save water. Save the planet.  Pee in the shower.

xoxo,

wEiRdO

okay, no more lying…

Two weeks ago, I posted a poll so you guys could pick this week’s topic. But, I manipulated this poll in that I put three, semi-normal, weird blog topics followed by one disgusting blog topic. I am proud to say that 79% of you people fell for this, and chose the gross topic above the others.

However, now I know that all of you people are liars! Stop pretending you aren’t weird, and embrace the fact that you love weird things. Also, come back on Friday this week for a mind-blowing anaylsis of: peeing in the shower.

Until then!

wEirDo

blog news!

Helloooo people!!

Last week, I had the lovely opportunity to attend the Great Awakening of journalism in Washington, DC. It was there that I realized:

I need to stay faithful to my fellow weirdos.

So I decided that I am now discussing weird things twice a week.

But… in order to do that, we need to keep the ideas flowing!!!

If you think other people might engage in any of the weird things you do daily, please email your ideas to houghkathleen@gmail.com.

Check for new blog posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting today.

And while you’re here, vote on what you want next week’s topic to be.

Later,

wEirDo

they’re cute. we get it.

Friday, 11 a.m.

The scene: STA quad, Halloween. Girls, everywhere, dressed up as giant hot dogs, loofahs, and body builders, run through the quad, stuff their faces with food, and crack perverted jokes with their friends. Others hang stuffed animals out the windows of M&A, and some even roll around the halls on skates, wearing afros and gold jumpsuits with sequins.

Friday, 8 p.m.

The scene: Halloween night, a large party. These same girls are there, hanging with friends. Only something is different. The hotdog from earlier today is now dressed as a “saucy beer maiden,” and the loofah has become a sexy-something with animal ears;  the gorging of snacks has been replaced with the casually sipping of a bottle of water; the perverted jokes have now become occasional giggles; and most importantly, testerone has entered the STA habitat.

Hence, this week’s topic:

BOY-GIRL INTERACTION.

Okay, get past the cheesy photo for two seconds and just visualize yourself hanging out with the guys last weekend…

Don’t worry, I feel your pain. And so does every other girl out there. Because all of us change around individuals of the opposite sex.

In fact, we all do the weirdest things around guys. And that’s just weird.

Sorry, people, but it’s true. Don’t waste your time trying to defend yourself here. WE ALL DO IT, even those of you who think you are successful flirts just because you have “things” (that’s just weird in itself), boyfriends, soulmates, yada yada yada.

Therefore, I have created a list of the weird things all of us girls do around guys. Use it for whatever you want; pleasure, solace, reassurance. Go wild.

1. Asking obvious questions that you already know the answers to: Do you play lacrosse? Do you have school tomorrow? Are you wearing cologne? I’ll stop now, as I am about to vomit just thinking about all the stupid questions we ask. Seriously, girls, we are so much better than this. We go to a college preparatory school and the only thing we can fork up during a conversation with an intolerant Rockhurst boy is a kindergarten question such as What is your favorite color? Blaaaaaaah. It makes me want to die. But guess what–we all do this ALL the time. And it’s sooo weird.
2. Pretending that you share the same interests: This goes hand in hand with the obvious question things. Do we honestly think that these guys believe we like wrestling/cars/PS3? Because they don’t. But we continue to ask these questions and fake our “obsessions” with the Chiefs because we actually think it helps our game.
3. Compliments: You seriously like that disgusting t-shirt he wears with jeans every weekend? Please. And yet we all do it…weird.
4. Laughing…at everything: Okay, he’s not THAT funny. So stop laughing at everything he says. It’s just annoying. That’s what I continue to tell myself, but I am coming clean: I am a victim of this embarrassing pasttime. And so are you. And so is everyone else.  So let’s ask ourselves: Do I really want to look like this?
5. Texting: This habit usually comes after the first few flirting sessions; the guy is already interested, and he’s started texting you daily. News flash: he doesn’t really care what you say, he just is happy with a response. Therefore, there is no need to spend 15 minutes thinking of a clever/witty response to his message wat r u doin? It’s totally unnecessary. Just say, nothing. Problem solved. And while we’re on this topic, I have a message to all you people that text your “thing,” boyfriend, soul mate, etc. every second of every day–texting while we’re eating lunch at Panera, watching a movie together, dissecting a rat in Biology, whatever. STOP IT, YOU ARE BEING SO RUDE. There, I said it. Seriously, do you not understand how annoying it is to be talking to someone and then they pull out their phone and text mid-conversation? Thank you, you basically just informed me that you don’t want to talk to me; you want to talk to him. Can you not wait until after our quality time together to figure out what time you and your bf are getting coffee together next? I mean, seriously, you do it every day anyway so you ought to know by now. Honestly, I want to take your blackberry and chuck it out the window. Seriously, cut it out and put your dumb phone away for two seconds.
6. Finally,everyone’s favorite: acting like a ditz. This covers being stupid, falling down, asking dumb questions, etc. I honestly don’t understand why girls do this to themselves. Why do they think being ignorant is sexy? Falling down on the floor and looking like an idiot is definitely hot, right? Umm, no. But many girls continue to do this over and over again. Okay this is where I draw the line–if you do this, please stop. Just remember: when you act dumb, therefore you look dumb. End of story.

Wow, I totally wish that I didn’t choose this as my blog topic because now I’m really frustrated with us girls.

In closing, I say, hey, we all do it. So let’s all stop doing it. Let’s actually act like ourselves around guys instead of acting like weird freaks. We look dumber trying to be people we aren’t anyway. So embrace your weirdness, be yourself, and get out there!

And if that doesn’t work, you can always improvise:

Until next time,

wEirDo

pop those pimps por favor

This week’s topic:

Yummy….

Pimples: gotta love ‘em. They’re everywhere: your forehead, nose, cheek; the neighbor boy’s neck. And even though you freak out when you wake up, look in the mirror and see a massive, swollen, red spot taking over your face, you can’t wait to to get your hands on that thing.

Seriously, the more I hear girls in frees talking about how “disgusting” popping pimples is, the more convinced I am that everyone enjoys the sheer pleasure in popping those suckers. And I know I am right. So Sophia Garozzo, stop telling yourself that you don’t like it, because we all know you can’t wait until you get a pimple to pop the heck out of it.

But what is it about popping pimples that makes us all obsessed with this lovely pastime?

Here are a few reasons I could come up with:

1. Who in this universe wants to go out in public with a bulging, white pimple for the all the world to see? No one!

This actually brings me to my next point: the small population that doesn’t pop their pimples. This is my plea to you popping resisters. SQUEEZE YOUR LITTLE HEART OUT!

Exhibit A:

I hope you almost gagged/vomited/fainted at the size of that sick, pus-filled, swollen mess. I also hope you people out there realize how it feels to try to talk to a person with something this repulsive sitting on her forehead. Seriously, pop that little rascal so we don’t have to look at it all day. And as an avid pimple popper/OCD acne freak, I can speak for all of us in saying: No, I am not listening to you trying to explain last night’s Trig homework, I’m trying as hard as I can to refrain from reaching up and squeezing that little hooligan as hard as I can. So please, for the sake of others, just pop it.

2. Who doesn’t love the downright entertainment one receives from watching that white pus pop out of that swollen, red mass on their forehead? Oh, how impossible it is to describe the satisfaction of watching the white stuff pop out to say hello after 30 seconds of squeezing! Words honestly cannot describe it.

It doesn’t stop there, though: You want to see how much you can get out of it, and when the pus-force is so strong that it hits the mirror, you yell “SUCCESS!” inside that crazy mind of yours.

3. Although not as satisfactory as watching the pus escape with your own eyes, the Blind-Method is another personal favorite of mine. Most used in chemistry class or cross country practice, this method involves 3 important steps:

1. Locating the swollen spot on your face/neck/shoulder/back
2. Squeezing the spot with your thumb and pointer finger until you feel the pus breakthrough the skin
3. Touching the center of the spot to make sure the white stuff is completely out–SUCCESS once again

Now, this method requires practice, so it is usually used by avid pimple poppers like myself. Knowing if the pimple is ready to be popped or not is your key to success. And success/satisfaction is the feeling you receive when you experience that white stuff surfacing–”Gotcha, sucker.”

4. And finally, no matter what your dermatologist/mother/best friend tells you, popping pimples actually helps them heal faster. Keeping that infected stuff in them does nothing for you. However, over-popping those little rascals, or using your fingernails can definitely make them worse.

My friends at Acne.com have provided some tips to help you when taking care of these little monsters. They are as follows:

Disinfect a needle with rubbing alcohol. A basic sharp sewing needle is a good choice.

Gently prick the pimple’s surface.

Take two tissues and wrap your index fingers with them.

Squeeze from the sides, confidently but gently, using a down-and-in motion. Don’t force it. If the pimple is ready, it’ll pop. If it doesn’t, leave it be. Be sure to stop if clear fluid or blood starts to come out.

Continuing to work at a lesion that is not ready to be popped can lead to scarring. Walk away from the mirror!

That’s a pretty good start if I do say so myself. I would add that you should pop pimples after getting out of the shower, because your pores are huge and the white stuff comes out easier. Mmm…

My advice to you: If there is a pimple with white in the middle of it staring back at you in the bathroom mirror–POP IT.

As for the rest of you avid pimple poppers–MAKE ME PROUD. Share the wealth of your knowledge with others. PLEASE.

Until then,

wEirDo

Run for your life

Last weekend, I was home alone at 10:30 p.m. on a Friday night (I’m grounded, sue me). When I decided to go upstairs and watch TV, I made sure the door was locked and the lights downstairs were turned off. I preceded to climb the stairs in my foyer when suddenly I burst into a run…why? Because I was afraid that someone was behind me. In fact, I do this every time I am home alone and going up the stairs.

But it’s okay, because you do it too. Everyone does. There’s really not much analysis on this simple nervous tick. So let’s make this short and sweet–we all do it out of fear. Some run up the stairs because they think a robber/rapist/kidnapper is chasing them. Others run up the stairs in fear that a monster or rabid dog will grab them and eat them. If you’re looking for a different, philosophical explanation, you aren’t going to find one here. Go google it or something if you’re that interested.

The moral of the story is: don’t worry, because YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Even though there’s a 1.245 percent chance that this man actually behind you

there’s no shame in putting a little spice into your life by breaking into a sprint up the stairs from time to time. Plus, you’re burning 12 calories and building leg muscle–what do you have to lose?

This is a new generation; it’s time to be proud of the weird things we do–this quirk being one of them. So accept your fear and run your little heart out.

wEirdO

I can cry if I want to

You just got into a huge fight with your mom about how “worthless” she thinks you are. The loud words previously exchanged have quickly turned to a grounding from her and a crying attack from you. You run upstairs and lay on your bed, balling your eyes out and repeating the same phrase over and over again; “THIS ISN’T FAIR, THIS ISN’T FAIR..” (You SO do that). What’s the first thing you do? You look in the mirror.

Seriously, don’t lie. You so do not call your best friend/boyfriend or cuddle with your favorite stuffed animal. You observe yourself in the mirror. But, it’s okay; like I say time and time again, EVERYONE DOES IT. Not just the pretty/vain people.

Hence, this week’s topic: looking in the mirror when you are crying.

Hopefully by now we’ve established a good enough relationship via cyberspace that you aren’t denying the fact that you do this. But for new readers, seriously, don’t waste your time trying to defend yourself, because YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Therefore, we aren’t going to point fingers (Mr. Fast), or accuse anyone specifically of looking in the mirror during a ball fest. Instead, let’s focus on why we all do this.

So, WHY? Oh, the possibilities. Here are the top seven reasons I could come up with:

1. Maybe you like the way you look, and actually enjoy gazing at your reflection in any given circumstance, even if you are hysterically crying. Or maybe looking at your  beautiful reflection distracts you from crying and makes you happier. Okay, cool. It’s not a sin.

2. Maybe you just want to see what you look like when you are crying. You might even try to smile to see what it looks like (Do not deny that, you totally do that) and then continue your crying rampage.

3. Maybe you are making sure that you look pitiful and sweet when you cry, and not just a puffy eyed, snot-stained mess. No crime there. WE UNDERSTAND.

4. Maybe you want to see if others are going to be able to tell that you have been crying. It’s always bad when you have just gotten over a crying attack and someone asks, “Have you been crying?” Okay, that’s understandable too.

5. Maybe you just don’t want to be alone while you are sad, even if it’s just a reflection sharing your sadness. Okay, this is where I draw the line. Seriously, stop. Go call your friend/boyfriend or cuddle with your dog.

6. Maybe you do it to wallow in your own self-pity and feel bad for yourself. This also is unacceptable. Looking at your reflection just makes it worse. Stop wasting your time looking in the mirror and focus on getting over whatever happened.

7. Maybe it’s just human nature; sadness fuels the desire to look at one’s reflection in the mirror. Okay, THANK GOODNESS. We are all so thankful for this magnificent gift.

So there you have it. We all look at ourselves in the mirror when we cry, no matter where we are; home, work, school–anywhere with a mirror/reflection to give us solace. However, my advice to you is remember to have good technique. Now that you know that you really aren’t the only one who partakes in this lovely pastime, DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE. It’s okay to make a quick glance in the mirror from time to time, but seriously, no more than once a week. It takes the fun out of realizing we do these things without thinking.

Remember: YOU ARE NOT VAIN. Embrace your blotchy reflection. And get over yourself as soon as possible. No one likes a frowny face.

Love,

wEirdO

it’s all about you

my topic this week:
BRAINSTORM

For the past few weeks, I have been discussing my opinion on the weird things that everyone seems to do. This week, I’m taking a break. Now it’s YOUR turn to brainstorm and discuss the weird things that you do. Who knows? Maybe you aren’t the only one who relieves yourself in the shower or stares at your earwax for long periods of time.
So get commenting!
Until next time,

wEirDo